This is Bear, reporting for the wife who is on the phone, right now as a matter of fact, apparently forgetting that in addition to the fact that I can do only one thing at any one time, I need all four fingers and both eyes trained on the keyboard to type. Not that I can't type pretty damn fast, mind you. Four fingers are all ya need when you're superhuman, like me. But, please: only one thing at a time. My ADD is for real. Not kidding.

But I digress...

She wants me to tell you that she has been wanting to post on this blog but has been really busy up in northern Vermont house-sitting for some dear friends. Plus up there there's nothing but dial-up, and methinks she hast bin spoil'd. So I'm posting for her. We're tight like that.

She's house-sitting and kid-sitting, actually. Not little kids that need to be watched because they might chew on the lamp cord and things of that nature. We're talking bigger kids, of the hide-the-car-keys and stash-the-percocet age group. Two boys, really good kids, if you ask me. The older one reminds me of me when I was his age, and it appears that he is choosing to do some of the same idiotic things that I did. I tried to explain this to him once, but then I imagined being 18 and here's some 36 year-old guy telling me how to "make the right decisions" and shit like that. Yah, right! So, he's going to do what he's going to do, as they say.

Again, I digress...

So the wife says, "I am still tired and my boobs still hurt..." And some other things - I don't remember. She says that I don't pay attention to her, or something like that...

But allow me this opportunity to tell everyone out there how madly in love I am with my wife. She is the funniest person I know. She has a smile that makes me smile, even if she's smiling because I fell down the stairs (only happened once). She is absolutely beautiful, and I thought so from the first time I saw her. She is a great dancer - I know this because I am, too (big lie). She writes poems for special events, then gets up in front of EVERYONE and reads them. Sometimes they don't even rhyme, but then she tells me all about iambic pentameter, or some sort of something or another, and I feel educated. She moved to my state (from VT, her home state) in the summer of 2000. I've been here since 1970. You would think that with a thirty year head start I would have more friends than her. Ummmm, you'd be wrong! She even has the meat guy at Stop & Shop grinding sirloin (not that *gasp* cheap meat) for our dogs, and then he slaps a "manager's special" (reduced price) sticker on it! I don't think she even asks - he sees her coming and wonders how he can outdo himself this time. She bought a car from this guy down the street - he's a fireman, and I think he just retired, so he's doing the car business full-time now. Anyhow, whenever she pops in, they all come running over to HUG her! EVERY TIME! Even when she's complaining that the damn alarm won't SHUT THE FUCK OFF!!! Just amazing...

So, these are but a few of the things that are special about my wife, our child's mother, that make her the best thing, ever, that has happened to me. Of course, there is much, much more, but I can't give it ALL away. Some things are just for me...

Ta.