I got up at five am and walked three miles with my man and our dog-sons. Then I wrote a paper on the play within a play vehicle that Shakespeare uses in Hamlet and Midsummer Night's Dream. That took me 5 hours because A) the paper sucked and B) I knew it sucked so I tried to rework it without rewriting it. Time consuming. Then I wrote two character analysis in sonnet form. The question is this: how on earth would I have gotten that done with a small human hanging off my boobie? I'm going to have scheduling issues, I can tell already.
I think I'm too easily influenced to be an effective parent....

I was at the tax assessor's office today trying to avoid paying taxes for a car I sold TWO YEARS AGO! Don't these people communicate? Anyway, the nice lady in the office where you PAY your taxes (different place) asked me what kind of motorcycle I have. I had my shiny red helmet with me... she said she was going to buy a bike in the spring. I told her if I get pregnant she can buy mine for a good deal. Well, then she told me about her neighbors. They both have bikes and on Saturday they find someone to watch their young kid and they go riding. Immediately I thought "WE should do that. We should keep our motorcycles and go on Saturdays." I suspect that basis of that argument is: "The lady at the tax offices' neighbors have kids and motorcycles." Whine when you say that.
Speaking of lesbians....

The couple behind us at dinner was going at it last night. Not in the way that makes men happy, either. More in the way that makes men happy they are single...

she1: It's always the same with you. There you were, making plans, never consulting me. I was just sitting there like a jerk and you were making all these plans and agreeing to things for both of us. Never asked me what I thought. Not once.

she2: What are you talking about?

she1: It's exactly like last Christmas.

she2: Christmas?

she1: This isn't going to work out. It just isn't. You do whatever it is you feel like you need to do and that's fine.

she2: What I need to do?

At this point I had to make a fake bathroom trip because I was certain that she2 was a man with a high voice. Specifically, the technique of what? followed by the repetition of a phrase, any phrase, lifted from the previous sentence spoken by your partner. Such the guys way to participate in an argument. Very strange.

Nothing on the pregnancy front. My vitamins make me sick to my stomach so I have to have them with breakfast, which I don't eat so it's getting a bit tough to remember to take them every day. Fascinating, huh?

On another strange note.... I was doing research for a project and, ironically, I found myself reading all about infertility. Fortunately, I'm not at the worrying phase so it was just plain interesting. UNTIL..... ever heard of spontaneous twins? Yea, me neither. Well, it turns out that if you have been busy having a career, or professional atheletes or whatever you did during your 20s and early 30s, you body didn't forget about the whole procreation thing. If fact, your body has been stockpiling.

Spontaneous twins. All the 40-something mothers with twins in designer strollers in my neighborhood... I used to think to myself "Fertility drugs". Now I know better. It turns out that in some sort of push to breed, a woman's body will release MULTIPLE EGGS to get the job done. I recently read a study that says that we long in the tooth broads may be releasing eggs MORE THAN ONCE A CYCLE. I'm a pregnancy time bomb. I feel like an inside-out sushi roll, with eggs all OVER the outside of me.


I have to go read about adolescent psychosis so I'm prepared for school and motherhood.