more brilliance in parenting

I was texting a friend of mine the other day about his son's new glasses. It was weird to be texting another grown-up, because I mostly just text my 23 year old sister, or my 23 year old babysitter, or my cousin the fourth grade teacher who simply MUST duct tape his mouth shut during school hours because he's funny as fuck and equally inappropriate ... where's the thread ... there it is! So I was texting my pal who is almost 40 (you're welcome P!), has a serious job that often sees him on television, and he's British! I mention his son is so much more handsome than Robert Redford (the current 'he looks just like') and he texted me: OMG! blahblahblah and I totally made fun of him for texting OMG and it made me laugh out loud. The teens in his house have finally gained control of his brain. Bye, P, we'll miss you!


So, my little monkey is trying out 'Bratty Rat Girl' this week. We get snarky answers to almost everything, lip galore, defiance, and the occasional near tantrum. The fact that she won't throw herself down anywhere dirty really saves me on this one ... but I digress. I had the best ever idea!

We went to IKEA today [Bear will no doubt mention in the comments that I had us drive for an hour in the wrong direction so I repeat - who is the dumbass for letting me give directions? Huh? Huh?] and got cool storage things for her gear. All of it. But it would appear that everything isn't going to fit. So, I'm toying with the idea of:

A. curbing bad behavior swiftly and harshly by
B. throwing her stuff in the mostly empty dumpster in the backyard!

me: Rio, please pick up Candyland
rio: No. I don't want to!
me: You're finished playing with it, and it's all over the place. Please pick it up now.
rio:Wellll, you could pick it up! [by the by, this is what she says all day now... you could do it!]

Strict mommy takes Candyland and chucks it off the deck into the dumpster.

In no time at all everything she owns will fit right in the perfect drawers ... Yeah, tomorrow is going to be awesome!


Menchuvian Candidate said...

I was going to say that Ikea is my crack, but then it occurred to me how that might be misconstrued.

I am totally with you on the "throw it out until it all fits" campaign, otherwise you'll end up being like us, making weekly trips to Stoughton, drowning in universal wrenches, hitting up craigslist for illicit after hours flatpack bliss. It ain't pretty... but it is basically well designed :::cough:::::

Anonymous said...

i'm a mean mommy too :)
yay us!

Alice said...

my mom used to round up everything messy while i was at school into a big pile in the center of my floor. then i got an hour to find a place for everything (which could not include under the bed, stuffed into the closet, etc). anything still out or not in a mom-approved storage area after an hour was tossed.

it was effective.

Ms.D. said...

Refresh me again: Three, right?

That explains the lippiness, defiance and meltdowns. Those usually came in waves, to test boundaries. Once boundaries were firmly established and grudgingly accepted, other boundaries became of interest.

Just think of it this way. THIS is a breeze. The teenage years are still a ways off.

;c) Hugs!