proud moments in housewifery

When I was single, I had a cleaning person. She was awesome. She put my laundry away (I love to wash and fold, but not put away. Kinda weird, huh?!) and cleaned my bathroom and vacuumed and put fresh flowers in my place every Friday. I paid her what she was worth because she didn't ask for enough, and we are still in touch because I still am so thankful to her.

Now, I'm in charge of this house. This kinda big house. This wicked messy house ... I'm not good at it. My New Year's resolutions list is short, but being more organized and cleaning better are right at the top. I've been begging for professional help (good morning marion!) and I sense it's coming.

And not a moment too soon.

I know I tend to exaggerate here but I have a nearly true story for you. This morning I opened the fridge to get some milk for Rio's cereal AND SOMETHING BITCH-SLAPPED ME RIGHT ACROSS THE GRILL. Furthermore, after wrestling said evil fridge monster to the ground, I was unable to discern whether is was a ball of rotten tofu or a head of rotten lettuce.

***

I cleaned every inch of the fridge. All the drawers. Every nook and cranny. My confession is that the bottom, under the crisper drawer (or fetid-rot-maker drawer, whatever) there was a lot of, um, stuff. Some of it was probably crunchy when it fell under there. Some of it might have shriveled up into that shape after a certain amount of time passed - I think it's called dessication? Either way, it wasn't apparently sticky stuff, and there was quite a bit of it. After puzzling over the best solution, I got out the hand vacuum and did the pre-clean that way.

It was in that moment, vacuum in hand, balanced on a stool and vacuuming out my refrigerator, that it occured to me I might start making my resolution list right now.

9 comments:

CraftyMomOf2 said...

oh lord woman you make me laugh...

xoxoxoxoxo
mjw

just me said...

i frequently get bitch-slapped by rotten food.

But being bitch-slapped by sick stuff is better than EATING it.


...which i have also done.

Valencia said...

You slay me :)

I cleaned out the fridge a couple of weeks ago because MO insists on putting the Milk on it's side for some psychotic reason. I've caught him doing it -- and it spilling into hardtoreach crevices -- twice now. mmmmm.

mar said...

I'm on the way... do I bring a cape?

nita said...

c-mom: entertaining moms since '04!

20: i've eaten things on the verge. slightly past the verge - i feed to the bear

pia: another in a long list of transgressions, non?!

mar: cape? no. impervious to stains and biowarfare? hell ya :)

Karen said...

What is it about that drawer???? I have grown mutant beasts in the bottom drawer of my fridge.

My answer: it now holds the bottled water.

Piglet said...

i wish to have a cleaning fairy once again. we tried it out when i was working but it wasn't as i'd hoped.

my sister knows a lady that i am planning to call to see if this time it'll be better than it was.

Yummyteece said...

My hand is over my mouth, attempting to stifle the cackles that are coming out, as I picutre you vacuuming the fridge.

you are DEFINITELY my kind o'person!

Thanks for dropping by my blog, and I'm thrilled that I've come here and read some of yours. Highly entertaining.

Alison said...

i will gladly join the 'i hate the holidays' club. its just way too stressful and i'm not creative and its waaaay too joyous for my liking.

thank you for giving those of us non merry people a place to feel welcome!

xoxo