ho ho ho #2

For Xmas this year, being full of holiday cheer as I presently find myself, I volunteered to take my nephew holiday shopping. There are a million reasons why this is hilarious, but I think the fact that he has not one single gift idea, is sorta lazy, calls me 'Ant Nita' and has Aspergers might paint the broad picture.

I asked my brother for time with my nephew every day for the last 3 weeks. He finally gets it together to bring him up (N lives in CT) this afternoon. Which turns into tonight. Which turns into - going to be so fricking late we'll have to shop in the morning. I take matters into my own hands and call my nephew and offer to DO his shopping for him for a small service charge above and beyond the actual gift prices. I'm so Neimann Marcus. Anyway, he is wild about the idea [I'm pretty sure I hear a blip in the tone...] and tells me I'm his favorite person ever [or maybe he said, 'Thanks'...]! I do do DO love this kid!

neph: Ant Nita, that is the best idea ever! I hate to shop and we were both going to end up miserable.

me: Oh, Neph, the force is so strong in me that even holiday crowds can't reach me. Plus, this year I have holiday cheer! Have your dad bring you for dinner and I'll give you a gift preview and you can sign tags and we'll call it a day!

neph: Thanks! Can't talk, I'm busy playing a game. [click]


Why do I love this kid so? I made a pair of earrings for his mother. Now, everyone pray that she somehow hasn't happened upon the blog and is stalking me. Frankly, I'm not even sure she knows my name, but not knowing my name hasn't stemmed her dislike of all things me, but people with less interest in me have wandered by twice a day, if you know what I mean....

I love him because he LOVED everything I picked out. In fact, he said, "That is AWESOME!" to each and every gift I had chosen, including a cup-holder-change-sorter. He rocks! AND!!! There's more!!! When I showed him the earrings I made for his mother, he said, "Wow! Those are awesome! They are way too nice for her!" .... hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I love him like crazy. *lesigh*


We interrupt the holiday giddiness for a Masshole Driving Update:

Dear Asshat:
Just because you're on your cellphone and quite obviously previously engaged to the point where your safe piloting of a ginourmous SUV is waaaay down your priority list - that does NOT mean that you can cruise to the front of the turn lane and then NOT turn but rather run 4 people off the road as you continue straight with a graceful aplomb that can only be described as the driving behavior of a clinical vegetable!!! YOU ARE SOME KIND OF FUCKING MORON! WAKE UP! HOLD ON TO THE WHEEL! HANG UP AND DRIVE YOU FUCKSTICK!

santa's little helper :)


Masked Mom said...

We have a Mass. transplant in town (who still has Mass. plates)who was parked behind the flower shop in complete disregard of the lines (which only apply to certain drivers, you know). I looked at Cranky Boss Lady and said, "They don't call 'em Massholes for nothing."

She (having never had the joy of living in New England--unlike me, who got my first license in NH and was warned repeatedly about the drivers from south of the border) says, "They call them Massholes?!" She thought it was the funniest thing ever.