Dell, this is all your fault

I am not ashamed to admit that right this second I have 2253 unread emails in my gmail inbox. Shoot me. It's taking up less than 20% of my something or other, and I prefer to think of it as proof that I exhibit only certain OCD tendencies. I must confess a small thrill to watching the eye twitch of my more driven friends when I casually toss out the fact that I have THOUSANDS of unread emails, but -as usual- I digress.

I may have mentioned it but you guys all seem to be doing drive-bys and not really reading anything and I rarely have boobie pictures here so it bears repeating: I'm making almost all my holiday gifts and buying myself a laptop. I promise not to use it while driving but I do NOT promise not to sneak it in the bathroom with me which is a joke because I don't even have peace in there ...

Anyway, today I got an incredible email about my future tricky laptop!!! Ice T wants me to have it. He told me himself*. And because I randomly clicked imported email addresses you might hear from him, too. If I missed you, or you don't know me but want to give me money anyway, listen up, fools.

Is it just me or is he just dirty-sexy-delicious?!

*Dear Ice T: Thanks so much for contacting me to help my cause!!! I totally appreciate the heartfelt plea you made just for little ole me. Touching. I promise to take your personal work on my behalf as interest in my future as a potty-mouth writer and not as an invitation to drop on by. Or to look in your windows. Or to hide in the backseat of your car. Probably.
peace out darling

> AMENDED TO ADD: I should put a lot more thought into these posts. I think I'll make it a New Year's resolution. For now, I'm left explaining... I stumbled upon (why, oh why can't I develop ideas like THAT?!) this great promo by Dell. Star Power. You can choose a star (Ice T didn't really do this just for me. Shocked, aren't ya?) and send an email to your friends and family to, uh, beg for money for stuff. I *do* want a laptop, but I didn't really think anyone would send me money. The video is so awesome and that's what inspired me to send it. To a whole bunch of my peeps. So, I took advantage of their 'import addresses' function and sent off that funny-ass video. Two challenges? One - no record of who I sent this to. Which is a problem because of ... Two - In the email Dell has totally dropped the ball. Here, in my blog, the link goes right to that sexy-as-hell former pimp pitching a laptop. On the email that went out to my friends and family and anyone else I thought would get a giggle from it - there's the rub. The actual email has 2 buttons called 'yoursishere' and 'buyitnow' ... neither is intuitive for playing the video. I'm no programmer or major ad director, but I would have put 'press to play' or 'nita wants you to watch Ice T and be swayed' or something like that on one of the buttons. Seriously? What would you click? Nothing, right? Buy it now and hope Dell doesn't swipe your credit card number and say, 'Thanks for sending laptops all over America'??!!!.... wtf?!

So, I have 2 friends who've sent me cash without seeing Ice T's movie. Basically, I have friends that respond to me begging for money. I did not know that. Had they understood the freaking ad, they would have clicked the link, played the movie and said to themselves, "That Nita has found a virtual way to fly her freak flag. I can totally see her with Ice T, sitting on that couch and smoking a Christo. Crazy beatch." The irony was lost. Which kills me.

But, this is totally working out for me cuz people are actually contributing! Thanks you guys. I love being a part of this crazy Universe.



pig said...

iloveyou, iloveyou, iloveyou.

THIS IS THE AWESOMEST THING EVER! at least so far today :)

i have no idea what "randomly clicking imported email addresses" means but it sounds sexy like ice t sexy.

i wonder if they could eminem to do one for ME? i love he, eminem that is. and you!

ocd is a standard requirement to being an aquarian. you know that right?!

Piglet said...
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Piglet said...
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Piglet said...

um, i had some trouble with the comment section and it called me PIG.
that's PIGLET TO YOU blogger!

p.s. i'm totally copying this action of using ice t to get me something!

nita said...

hahaha! i saw the 'pig' bit! hahahaha

Kenna said...

I'm buying myself a laptop for Christmas too! Trying to transfer my Yahoo! photos now 'cause they're closing ... not sure what the hell I'll do about my iTunes. I'm in for the electronic challenge of my life.