I had a therapist (my last one) who really helped me a lot. Not a lot of mumbo jumbo "let's taaaaaalk about it" bullshit, we did EMDR. Look it up if you're interested. Helped to put the trauma of my childhood out of my throat and in a more appropriate mental loop. Bah!
One thing this brilliant woman said was, "It's amazing to me that you have so much hope when it comes to the members of your family."
I was thinking of that today because I'm still pissed at my brother, BB. I mentioned that he blew me off again to go to Tennessee for- not a fool's errand, a complete jackass' errand! It occured to be that he always tells me that something's come up, but he obviously never says that to anyone else when he's promised ME he'd do something for/with me. My feelings are hurt. I'm pissed off. AND I can' really say anthing to him because he won't talk to me until he had another seizure and one of his friends will call. I love him more than anything but today I'm sad that it has to be this way.
No real point, just moving books/bookshelves/pictures/garbage and thinking it would be more fun with him around....