nitaat 9:08 PM
"I want you Mommy. I'm holding you so you don't leave me."
Kill me now.
I have a 3 pronged attack plan for parenting:
*read a shit ton. consume books like I need more fiber. disregard anything that feels 'wrong' and gather enough tomes surrounding what feels 'right' to start a library. a college library. a med school college library ...
* take everything my parents said or did and never, ever do anything that way
* trust my instincts
So, I hold her fingers and count them and kiss them. I kiss her tears and tell her I'm sad to leave her, too, but we all need rest. I tell her I love her and I'll check on her in 10 minutes and leave a room where *my baby* has just said, " I want you, Mommy,".
I know it's the right thing to do. I joke a tiny bit, telling her 'I want you tooooo!' but not enough to invalidate her sadness. I gently pull away with the promise of a check-up return. I tell her I love her and try to convey that I support her emotions. I'm pretty sure this is *just* how to handle this.
So, why is it that when walking down the hall I keep stepping on my heart; bloody and fresh from the kill?