and i'm handy, too!

I am not going to lie to you, good folks of Blogsylvania. I can't work many of Rio's toys. Perhaps that's why I'm fostering the current train obsession - round and round with occasional 'toot!toot!' is all that's required of me. Me likey Thomas the Train. I wasn't even too pissed about the lead paint, cuz, hell - I can play trains!


Our darling friend gave her this for her birthday. Rio loves it like it's covered with baby crack. Only glitch? I can NOT work it. That's a problem because it has to be worked. One must load an outfit and while Polly is driving, something starts whirring and she's magically sucked into the body of the limo where she pops out the back in a different outfit and the doors all start turning into mirrors and closets and stairways .... exhausting but I totally would buy it if it existed. And if the car could really drive itself while I was sucked into the back. And if it was a hybrid ...

But, I digress.

If one (me) is too stupid to load the outfit and get all the parts lined up and get everyone in their fricken seatbelts and, and, and, if it isn't all lined up just so - the car gets stuck. Just rolling it around singing gangsta rap isn't an option because the wheels lock up while things inside are ready to get this party started riiiiiiight. Without the requisite NASA setup operation the car pops things open randomly and the doors fall away and Polly is sucking back and forth and her friend is all looking at her like 'What are you? Paris on vicodin AND xanax????!!!!" while the passenger seat does some other weird thing, too. I know it, right?!

Peering into the guts I realized there was a spinny thing attached to the axle which runs the whole thing.

Darling girlfriend who bestowed this awesome gift, please don't get pissed, okay? I totally McGuivered it.

Using only a large screwdriver for pounding and torquing, and a small screwdriver for the myriad of microscopic screws on the bottom of the car holding god knows what to god knows what, and poultry shears for the thicker pieces of plastic -- using just those 3 tools I totally pimped that ride. Took the bottom off, broke off /hacked off/ pounded off/ twisted off/ chicken neck snapped off most of the inside and underside of the quick change major traffic hazard limo.

Now it looks like a pimped out El Camino and we both really like it.

If only I can install a system for hydrolics and bangin' bass .....


melman said...

"she's magically sucked into the body of the limo where she pops out the back in a different outfit and the doors all start turning into mirrors..."

What kind of a sex-crazed crack ho is this Polly?

Also, I was not following your mechanical breakdown at all until you mentioned the "spinny thing".

Sally said...

My daughter has that Polly limo and I can't get it to work either. But, you have to wonder - who comes up with these ideas? A quick change limo? Wtf??

nita said...

preCISEly. crack.ho. man o manichewitz!

i can send you a diagram detailing where to smack it to break the pieces off ....

feener said...