all the news that's fit to wrap greasy fish

all the news that's fit to wrap greasy fish

I'm catching up on news reading since our Vermont break. Only tiny bits of the outside world squeak through when I'm there, which is mostly why I go. Here's what I learned:

Al Gore III
* there are a ton of asshats who don't own a style manual. it's fun to watch them try to use 'Gore III' correctly in the body of an article.
* I had no idea a Prius could go 100 mph. now I REALLY want one!
* this kid is only 24? not a typo? he's not 42? I'm 42 and look way better .... waaaay better.

A Girl Who Could Really Use A Cork In Her Mouth or A Competent Editor
* Brittney - please shut the fuck up!

I'd Like To Know What They Have Planned For Their Print Campaign
* but, hey, tell a friend!

Bad Week For Pedicurists
* um, ouch! and ouch!

I'm Not Going Crazy, I KNEW I'd Heard That Song!
* naughty avril! your fans have parents, you know!

Why Background Checks On Babysitters Are Totally Sensible
* what lovely children, and she is so advanced for her age!

The Most Disgusting Piece of News I've Read Since Paris Getting Out Of Jail Because She Was Claustrophic ... And On A Complete Mental Par ...

By The Associated Press Tue Jul 3, 3:08 AM ET

The text of the clemency order Monday by which President Bush commuted the sentence of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, as released by the White House:

Grant of Executive Clemency

A Proclamation

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, pursuant to my powers under Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, do hereby commute the prison terms imposed by the sentence upon the said Lewis Libby to expire immediately, leaving intact and in effect the two-year term of supervised release, with all its conditions, and all other components of the sentence.

GEORGE W. BUSH

* anyone care to bet how long it takes him to complete reverse himself on 'leaving intact and in effect'? smart money says he commutes the entire sentence and when asked why, says,

"Cuz I funna felt like it. If y'all could get a look at my super secret Rules For Guvrnin Handball, Handbible, Handbook! then y'all'd know I wunna dunna anyone elses."

I"m going to play with trains now.