mysteries solved

My darling sister is 20 years younger than I - a point she takes great joy in pointing out as often as possible.

I was talking to her this morning. She totally cracks me up. She has a very interesting way of conducting her business. She takes most of my advice and, as near as I can figure, makes origami cranes and frogs from it. Occasional gems are put to use with astonishing success, and yet she rarely avails herself of MY TWENTY ADDITIONAL YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!!!!... well, she really does have her very own, very 'special' take on things.

me: P's totally out, huh?

v: Yeah. I don't know what his problem is. I think guys are obsessed with their penises though.

me: That's a fact. What happened?

v: Oh, well, we were kinda getting ready to fool around so I asked him if he had a condom and he pulled out a Magnum. I started laughing and asked him who he stole *that* from! Hahahaha!

me: And you don't know why things got bad, huh?

same conversation a bit later ....

You ever lose shoes drinking?

me: I've lost one shoe a few times. Long time ago. But I don't think I ever lost both of them. Did you lose your shoes?

v: Yeah. Both of them. And my pants. I think I gotta quit drinking.

me: *THINK* you gotta quit?!!

v: Or at least cut way down ...

same conversation a bit later ....

v: Yeah, so, [our young cousin's young wife] is having surgery next month! Did you know that?

me: No, you know no one tells me anything. What's up? Is she okay?

v: Yeah, no, well, I don't know. I guess it's her brain.

me: Brain surgery? Does she have an aneurysm, too?! ( v's mom had one, so did her grandmother, and our cousin's mom, too ... this girl married in so I was thinking that someone should do a study proving that living in the midwest is what causes them ...)

v: Could be that. No, wait, it's, uh, I don't remember the term. Something like, something with a medical name. Some sort of fluid on her brain or in her brain or on her spinal cord? Something. There's too much fluid in there. Or something is not letting enough fluid through and maybe blocking something ... whatever, maybe it's why she's quirky.

Seriously? I could not love her more!


flea said...

Hi! You have won a prize in the Most Humiliating Moments in Parenting contest at my blog. Stop by and pick it up!

Valencia said...

Bwa ha ha. Today was a good conversation. But you missed the story about the meds. Me over dosing and wondering why the hell I spent the past 12 hours nautious. :) LOVE YOU.

nita said...

thanks flea! *swoon*

v: please girl. you know i could fill a blog with just our ridiculous conversations!