hysteria

hysteria

Bear, in a moment of unprecedented morning parenting responsibility, offered to take Rio to her Saturday morning gym class for the summer session. So I could relax on Saturday mornings. Or at least do my housework without simultaneously playing with clay or paints or trying to bake with her helping or trying to vacuum while she throws things in my path ... you get the message, yes?!

So, today is Day One of Daddy getting up and getting her somewhere for 9:15. And he must leave by 8:55 to be on time ....Here is my morning thus far:

8:00 - wake Bear. go into Rio's room for a snuggle and discussion about 'Where are all my guys?'
8:15 - wake Bear. downstairs to make coffee and Rio's breakfast
8:20 - holler up stairs to wake Bear and bow to the suggestion of 'let's pee naked!'
8:25 - pack Rio's bag with snacks and extra clothes just in case. bring coffee upstairs
8:30 - wake Bear and inform him has to leave in 25 minuuuuuuuuuutessssssssssss
8:31 - write grocery list for Bear and put it with a note to pick up dry cleaning
8:33 - "you up?!" and he yells back "of course!"
8:35 - throw dice with Rio. make her sign over her college fund when she loses 5 straight throws
8:40 - Bear is up! And dressed! With shoes! And he asks me to figure out the mail order situation for his pills. explains that the doc wrote 3 X 90 when he needs 3 X 30 but the system wouldn't take it so now it says refills only in February but that should be for at least 9 months. I completely ignore this explanation and make a note 'drugs'.
8:45 - no slowing down on the explanation so I slip out to load the car and turn it on
8:50 - interrupt his ongoing explanation containing many mentions of 30, 60, 90 and February to give him grocery list, dry cleaning slip and coffee to go
8:51 - he complains that I'm throwing so many things at him when he just woke up! I explain he should have gotten up at 8 and he says 'Yeah, but I didn't so I'm not awake so stop giving me pieces of paper with all these commands cuz I'm not awake yet!!!' and I say, again, 'That's not my problem!' and he says 'I don't know what you're saying cuz I'm not awake yet!' and Rio looks at us like we're idiots
8:55 - I put Rio in the carseat while Bear goes up to brush his teeth. He's back faster than if he'd flossed and I hand him his to-go coffee and we kiss and they're off.

Phew! So, I have some time to have a cup of coffee, listen to the radio, do some chores and practice before my piano lesson. (Although clearly the practicing is gratuitous as I'm apparently some sort of adult savant ... or highly delusional. One of those things ...).

I sit down at the piano only to remember that Captain Helpful has taken my lesson book and put it in the car he just drove to the Little Gym. So I'll have it when I go to my lesson. In 3 hours.

Is it too early for cocktails?!