hysteria, part duh

I shared my waking hours yesterday but, almost unbelievably, it got even better!

I leave for my lesson across town at 20 minutes until the hour. When I do so I don't have to speed, sweat the red lights, or run into the studio and jump on the piano. I usually enjoy the scenic ride over and arrive at my lesson mentally prepared to prostrate myself on the alter of adult piano lessons.

*ticktockticktock* You know where this is going, yes? The Little Gym ended at 10. I gave him 2 errands. Grocery store and drive-through dry cleaning.

At Whole Foods Market, instead of getting the 5 items on the list (arrange by aisle, right to left) he wandered about and picked up all the things *he* thought would be great to have. So when he was on 495 on the way home with 8 bags of groceries, he thought to himself, "Hmm, should I take exit 17 and go home or exit 16 and go to the post office (I had not asked for a post office run and he's too paranoid to trust the mailman to pick up mail so he always has to go himself. He doesn't even really trust me to put the mail in the box. It's truly bizarre, his postal affliction)?" when he glances at my piano lesson book and suddenly remembers me and then looks at the clock in the car that says 10:45 .

Five minutes after I would have left for my lesson. And he's a little over 10 minutes from the house. He panics and reaches for his cell phone and remembers that he lost it somewhere, not sure where or when ... so he comes straight home.

I realized he had been helpful and put my lesson book in the car but he'd forgotten me and forgotten to bring my cell and I had no way to know where he was or when he'd be home or if he'd be home at all! Now - my brother's 'new' car (which I can only assume came from a lost bet) has been in our driveway for almost 3 months. He's waiting for the kid to send him the title or some paperwork so we can register the damned thing. It has an illegal plate on it from taking it down the street for tires.


I made the executive decision to take the POS to my lesson and only be 5 minutes late instead of gambling on Bear's timely arrival. Or even his eventual arrival. So, I drove an unregistered car in which none of the spinny dials work including the tach and speedometer so I didn't know how fast I was going or if I was in first or third gear. I couldn't really remember the gears on a VW so I made a couple false starts trying to back up. Then I entered busy traffic in what in retrospect was clearly 3rd gear so I drove in 2nd and 3rd gear across town in a car that I can't seem to turn off the deafening loud stereo playing Talking Heads. Additionally, this bad boy has racing pedals so every time I clutch or brake or apply gas, my flipflops catch on the pedals on either side ...


11:10 my cell rings. It's Bear calling from home to ask where I am. ??? I tell him I'm at my lesson. He asks if I'm mad and I assure him I take full responsibility for marrying someone with the inability to multi-task OR read a list OR be on time and he says, 'Whew!'. Twenty minutes later I hear 'Where is Nita?' and it's my daughter at the door of the lesson studio, calling me 'Nita' when we've discussed that I really prefer 'Mommy', because Bear has brought her over and he wants to jam. During my lesson.

Evidently, if I want a relaxing hobby that I can do alone, I'm going to have to take up fire eating in the backyard -- dangerous to get too close, not a sport for multiple players, and I won't have to drive anywhere ...


Sarah said...

"Evidently, if I want a relaxing hobby that I can do alone, I'm going to have to take up fire eating in the backyard "

All I know is that the basest of bodily functions isn't enough to score me some alone time. Forget the baby, my *husband* follows me in. And the cell phone? Oy! He has called multiple times during a single walk with a friend, during court, during freaking EVERYTHING-Hell, when I was in Labor & Delivery for the first stages of a (failed) induction-I mean *in the stirrups!*- he called and asked me to call AAA for him!

:::::::shakes it off::::::

We all have different needs and different resources, but for now, here in the casa, a "relaxing hobby" is picking play doh out of the rug.

Good luck!

nita said...

let it harden and get a dog. dogs love hard playdoh!

teahouse said...

Hahaha..parenting really is a full time job, isn't it?