bear says "boring"

My loving husband has informed me that the blog has been boring.

It's true.

You see, I'm sick to death of being sick. I'm sick of complaining about it. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Honestly, I don't even have the energy to complain in my head anymore.

I have about 100 pressing things to do. I'm used to being behind schedule since taking on 'stay at home mom' duties which are endless. Actually, physically endless. And repetitive. And not that interesting. Like complaining.

Lately I've been feeling a bit like I'm stuck in the mud. I'm halfway through 10 books and I want desperately to read them all. The house is half clean. My attention is half on my husband ... but 100% on Rio.

I guess I'm being a good mom but I'm constantly surprised at the wells running dry for lack of attention. It's vital to keep a good marriage. I grew up in a house that was a disaster so I don't want mine to be that way, and yet it's shoveling uphill to stay on top of it. I've put off my silversmithing class twice for various reasons. I'm still whipped from 2 weeks 'vacation' and traveling with a wee one. My root canal will be finished this week - but it's still infected because the initial botch was so egregious, I'm lucky my dog didn't loose his teeth as a result! Speaking of dog - his teeth need brushing. He needs brushing. I'm behind on 2 of his vaccines. His nails are long and I've barely walked him in a month. He's become a SAHD shut-in.

I owe thank you notes to about 20 people.

I am LOVING two business projects I'm involved with right now. I look forward to 'doing things' and 'research' and that I get to use my brain a bit. But I have to fight my life for the time to do something besides Sculpy, fingerpaints, and cooking and cleaning.

I'm out of shape because exercising causes my head to throb due to the aforementioned tooth problem! Is it too terrible to tell you that my tooth problem began exactly 2 weeks after I finally got some relief from the botched surgery? No lie, I've had 2 good weeks in 2+ years. Kill me!

What else? I have a UTI that is clearing up. The doc's office never got the lab results from my last one so they aren't sure if it was an actual UTI or if my malady of last year is coming back ... which will require me to be locked in a rubber room of that's the case.

What else?

*Oh, my mom is in rare form of late. And I'm pretty sure she's going to far outlive me so peace and quiet doesn't look good.

*My father blew us off in Florida. He hasn't seen Rio since she's 6 weeks old. I can't even figure out how I feel about it and I'm not kidding. Am I upset? Not really. Disappointed? Not really. Sure about exactly *how I do feel*? Not really.

*Although my darling brother and husband put a spit polish on the house for our return last week, there is something that smells really bad. Somewhere. I can't find it. Sort of a sweet something is rotting smell. That I can NOT find.

*I have familial duties that have been neglected.

See? I could go on and on but I'm sick of hearing it. Sick sick sick of it. I know I'm just in a funk of sorts. But I don't even get the time and space to have a decent funk. Gone are the days of lying in bed watching 15 Law&Orders back to back. Eating ice cream and doing face masks ... all in all it's a totally fair trade, but I sucked every cent of soul equity I had amassed over 40some years to be able to get here today. And here is kind of a mess.

The good news? By the time you read this I'll be fine.

Boring, huh?


mamabear said...

I notice that you posted AFTER I called you this AM to tell you what a perfect mother you are...and my son seems pretty happy with his life (well, his home life at least)..and you are as beautiful as ever. I give you an A+ in every subject. Cheer up.

salcam said...

What a day/week/year for you. I'm sorry for the mountain of suck.

Maybe tomorrow hertz will call with a full refund and a free rentals-for-a-year coupon, the UTI will clear up completely, your dad will call and beg forgiveness and send a large check for Rio's 3rd birthday, the dead thing will be found and removed by someone else (or you could box it and send it to Hertz) and Rio will give you the biggest hug and kiss ever.

One can hope!

kate said...

Boring? Aren't we all at times? But really, I don't think it's as boring as you fear... I'm still reading. :-)

Just glad for the updates that let us know you're still (mostly) alive.

TL said...

I hear you sweety, I so know how you feel and that exaustion of just tired of bitching about it too. I think it is just part of being a Mom, and it sucks.

Galaxy Girl said...

Prolly all part of being a person living in the world, chica.

I hate it when I can't find the stinky things in my house.

I'm baking bread tomorrow if you want to stop by. It always makes me feel better.