There are many reasons I look to genetic research to disprove my worst fears. My gene pool is shallow, could use some chlorine, has 2 headed goldfish... you know the jokes. But I'm relatively well adjusted. I guess. Well, I am discussing all my issues surrounding child-bearing in public, with strangers. But hey! In my family that IS well adjusted. So.... while we wait to get pregnant I'll occasionally share stories of family so we can all pray together if/when I do get knocked up.
Last night my mother left a message, "Ah, please call me regarding your immunizations. I have something to talk to you about."
Of course I freak out. I was thinking of when I found out I was half Mexican, not Venezuelan as I'd grown up thinking. Yeah, I'll probably have to explain that one, but later. Maybe tomorrow if you're good.
me: Jesus H Christ. What now?
my husband: What? What could it be? You have that dimple on your arm, right? You must have had all the important shots.
me: You don't know my mother. She thought flouride was a government conspiracy. We couldn't take it in school. I was the only kid with a note absolutely forbidding the dispension of those cool red tablets THAT EVERYONE ELSE TOOK AND SWISHED! I have a cavity EVERY TIME I GO TO THE DENTIST!!! She thinks the moon landing was faked. She is very inventive. If she thought the vaccinations of childhood were linked to some sort of plot, she would have burned me with a cigarette to falsify my innoculation mark. Then she would have badgered some poor nurse into thinking she already gave me the shot. "Look! The mark! Could that be faked?! No!!!She's marked! Sign the release form!" I'm probably at risk of dying from some stupid disease that only people in Third World nations are getting. Ahhhhhh!
my husband: You're right. I hate to say it, but you should call her.
me: Hi mom. So, what's up with the immunizations?
mom: Well, I was reading that kids on college campuses are getting
meningitus. You should get a shot. A girl I went to catholic school with died
when we were in third grade. I just worry about you.
me: Thank God. I thought you faked my childhood innoculations.
mom: Don't be ridiculous. What on earth would make you think that?
*sigh* Now watch me die of meningitus and she'll tell everyone she told me so. Great, now with all the work I have to do in Comparitive Political Systems and the Sociology of Education, I have to f-ing study up on meningitus.
It never ends.