:: the sound of one hand clapping ::
The spell has been broken, for the moment. Rio retired at 11pm after her exhausting day of sleeping only one hour at a time and feeding every two. Whew. Bear hit the door and I only let him get changed before handing the wee one off and crashing like a drunken Kennedy. I slept from 6pm until 11pm and feel much better for it. The big news is Rio slept from 11 until 3:30am. Yippee! And right now she's considering her mobile and laying quietly in,what I hope, is nearing sleep.
Bear got a little taste of what our days can be like. He said he was only able to set her down long enough to whip together a sandwich and she screamed all the while. I remain so thankful she's not a fussy baby in that this behaviour is quite out of the ordinary. If he should encounter this sort of 'don't put me down or I'll reallllly start to fuss' behaviour, here are a couple of tips on how to do things one-handed...
Forget about it. Settle for a glass of water because you can balance the glass on the shelf under the spigot. Use plastic in case the dogs knock it off. That way you can just leave the whole mess on the floor until she DOES nap and then you'll just have to mop and not clean up glass.
You could have crackers, but without cheese cuz it's impossible to spread with one hand. The container scoots all around and you end up dropping it on the floor. See 1st note.
Difficult, at best, with one hand. That is why I was so frigging aggravated with you when I discovered that you had used the last bottle this morning and left me with none prepared. I guess that was my price to pay for the 1.5 hours of sleep I grabbed before you headed to work?!
To check the level of what she's had, place the bottle firmly between your legs and screw the top off, releasing the suction in the liner. This is where you'll be glad that I don't use superhuman force to put the tops on....
I recommend sliding the pants down on the far side of the arm you have free. Some clothes cannot be wrenched down in this fashion and it's best to know that before you get the one easy side down and under one buttcheek.
Wipe however you can. Try not to get anything on the baby.
Another thing in the growing list of 'fuck it's. You can't hold the baby, the door and the dogs back all at the same time. So what if the UPS guy hears you talking to Rio and not answering the door? If you do decided to try to answer the door, make certain you've pulled the one easy side of your pants back up after discovering the other side won't budge.
Now, before you all start to think Bear is falling apart under the pressure, well, consider this: he is incredibly resourceful and brilliant. Just last night he got Rio to sleep after a mere 5 hours. Here is the proof:
She fell asleep on a pillow from the couch so he put her in her portable bassinet on the main floor and then when it was time for bed, he simply put the whole shooting match into the crib in our room. Brilliant or what?!