important lessons on operating a 3 year old

* When they say, "I have to tinkle right now!" they pretty much mean it.

*When your daughter sings "Happy Birthday Mommy!" really loud first thing in the morning you should prepare yourself. All that loud and early singing was the preamble to the incessant "Can we make cuck-cakes?" that will not cease until you relent and make said 'cuck-cakes' and make them now. With help. And direction. From your child who has discovered she knows everything. Yay.

*Same 3 year old totally doesn't get the concept of time and cooking so when you do agree to the baking, know that you are in for, "Are they finished yet?" every 10 seconds for the entire time it takes to assemble ingredients, grease and flour tins, make batter, pour into cups, watch the mofo things bake with the light on and then, then, then, instead of waiting for them to cool you must break one open with your bare hands and juggle it until it's burned out of its molten stage and you can deliver it onto a plate from the special tea set so finally, at long last you can silence, "Are they finished yet?" with a fresh cupcake that has given you 2nd degree burns.

*She will then have one bite and say, "How 'bout Clifford Cheerios, instead?" and you know in your heart that she saw you pour the last of them yesterday and she should know better than anyone that you haven't had time to get to the store, right? RIGHT?


Today I ran a host of errands for Bear. I took the water/sewage bill in, laid the bills in the envelope next to the bill on the counter. The woman counted it out and handed me $60 back! In cash! Mine! When I wondered aloud at my windfall she said, "It's probably a tip!" and I thought, Bear is so great! I got a tip! I can go buy, myself, um, a, an, some ....? The pontificating stalled me a bit for I'm not often in possession of cash or extra time so I was standing with the twentys and spacing out wondering if I had time to get my roots done when I was shaken from my trance and asked to move along. I did. Because the chicks at my town municipal building scare me a little. This is their idea of a warm welcome, all perched on the counter:

Rio's new winter coat came today, looking like it had been kicked from the warehouse, but it's darling and we're heading to Stowe for a 3 day holiday. In a hotel. Under assumed names. I'm ridiculously excited. See you soon and enjoy your holiday!

Oh, and f-Christopher Columbus.



kate said...

Ha ha - our philosophy prof has a jar like it that reads "Ashes of Problem Students" right next to a skull and crossbones poster with "Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves".

Needless to say, I adore talking to him. :-)