the Mother Teresa trading card?

Seriously? Seriously! I wonder if I win the MT card I could slip it at the Pearly Gates.

me: No.Fucking.Way! Heaven! Pearly Gates! (gnaws on gate bar with teeth..) Holy crap! They're real pearl! (notices man in robes. or dress. whatever, right?) You must be Peter. I bet that was a tough name as a kid, huh?! *snickers*

Saint Peter: (frowning a bit..) Let me check my list ...

me: (throws out hand for a handshake) Top of the mornin' to ya! Wait, that was Patrick, right? Did you know he wasn't Irish? It's true! Anyway, (grasps his unwilling hand, slipping the Mother Teresa trading card into his psalm, uh palm) I was told this little baby will cut through a lot of paperwork, know what I mean?

Saint Peter: ....

me: Serious. It's got a COA from a very reputable firm. Hey, is she around? Does she still have to maintain that vow of brokeass, or what? Do I have to wear a robe cuz in Heaven I'm wicked thin. It would be a shame to cover this action up, know what I'm sayin'?

Saint Peter: I suspect attire shan't be a problem ...

***

And that, good folks, is your unwelcome morning peak into my psyche. If I've offended you, I am sorry. But what are you doing here? I've been dead. There's no h(H)eaven, silly rabbits. But there *is* more than this so be nice. And let someone merge once in a while ....

7 comments:

Valencia said...

you are too much. wayyyy to much. :)

Masked Mom said...

I'm only offended that we haven't gotten to see this side of you sooner...:) (Psalm/palm, damn that was good!)

just me said...

I want a mother teresa trading card! And then I want to frame it. And stick it above my bed. And wait for people to notice.


...and watch their reactions.

nita said...

ooo, v, so close with getting both 'too's' :)

mm: i know! can you imagine what i could come up with if i did research or did an edit or planned something?!

jm: it's not part of your bday package, kiddo. !!

the slackmistress said...

I had serial killer trading cards, but I don't think they'd gain me entry to the Place Upstairs...

hungry heppo said...

Lady, you are smooooth. :c)

rock grrrl said...

awesome!