begging, lying, and bribing

begging, lying, and bribing

I'm a little persuasive. And I'm one of those people who are totally comfortable slipping a bill. You know, like a sawbuck. Somewhere in my complex make-up, there is a healthy dose of 30's noir.

Anyway. When we got the postcard announcing the Hopper exhibit, I jumped up and down with sheer joy. Bear is also a fan, although not so rabid. The postcard came at the beginning of the year and we foolishly felt we had tons of time to make it.

You know where this is going, right?

We finally head in on Sunday because, you know, it ends next week. We take the train cuz trains are fun! And Rio loooooves trains! And trains are fun! So, we go right to Ruggles station and make the quick walk to the museum. We stand in line to buy our tickets and are informed there is nothing available until 4:30. People, it's before noon and we have a 3 year old with us. So, we wander and look and strategize. We have lunch and figure we'll play it by ear.

Long story short - nothing can be done. I tried a few avenues. A lovely girl recommended trying to trade tickets with someone so I do that. After going downstairs and seeing about not picked up 'will calls'. And trying to bribe the guards. With no choice, I start approaching strangers and trying to get them to exchange their 1:30 tickets for 4:30 tickets. I have a song and dance routine but no one is willing to change. In the meanwhile, Bear is carrying Rio on the escalator and going up and down and up and down because the only thing more fun than a train, is an escalator. No lie - maybe 70 times. He says, "Let's bail. I'm soaked with sweat and I don't think this is gonna work," and I say, "On your next trip down hit the ATM and get me some cash!", which he does.

So now I'm doing my song and dance, holding the tickets up with a $20 folded and facing the people. Now I'm getting better and real excuses.

"We totally would but we have dinner plans right afterward."
"We totally would but 12 members of our family are meeting here for this."
"We totally would but we are seeing a house at 4:30."

Then one couple of french dudes. The one who understood the most english looked at our tickets and said to his friend, "Take the money - our tickets are for the same time!" and I just walked away from those fuckers because I totally understood what he was saying! Who said a french speaking Mexican doesn't make sense??!!

Bottom line, after about an hour of my public humiliation the lovely girl walked over to Bear on one of his up escalator rides and said, "I think I saw you drop these...". She had 2 tickets in her hand. Bear said, "No, my wife has the tickets over there, trying to trade," but my spidey sense already had me headed in her direction. I thanked her profusely, traded my tickets out and gave her a quick hug. She said she saw me working so hard and I wasn't just trying to get ahead of line, I was really trying soooo hard to see the show and she'd never seen anyone make so many trips on an escalator to keep a kid entertained!!! and so she 'found' a couple of 11am tickets not claimed so we got right in.

The show was great. Well worth seeing again, which I just may. But internets, I think I should do something for that girl. I have her name. Should I write a letter, not detailing her deed lest she get in hot water, but extolling her extraordinary virtues? Except her boobs? But including her amazing red-gold hair? Or maybe flowers to her at the museum? What do you think would be the best thing to do for her? Fire away!