di di di di di di dilemma

I wonder - should I allow her to watch Barney? It seems incredibly inane to me, but all the kiddies groove on it. Last week in a restaurant a kid who could not have been 2, sat down and sang the whole song perfectly ...

Rio woke up at 3 am and would NOT go back to sleep. She begged me to stay with her because of the cricket noise, and then she stuck her fingers in my nose and 'roared' me awake 15 times in a row ... while all this is going on she was gleefully and loudly singing:

I love you
You love me
I love you I love you
And the crickets are noisy
And guy has blue hair
I love you!

I love you
You love me
I love love love love
I'm a little hot and sweaty. Mommy, get me a cold drink.
I love you!
A cold drink?

I feel insane today. Evidently we woke Bear up, who was still blissfully alone in our bed, with all our hollering. She kept going 'roar!' whenever I dozed off. Every time I made a move to leave her room she'd jump under the covers and scrinch her eyes closed. In short - she played me like piccolo. All the while butchering that frigging song. I lay there and debated whether to sing it to her once, this hellacious refrain that festers in the common unconscious, SO I COULD GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP! I didn't. She's now turned it into a freestyle rap/spoken poetry type of deal.

I love you
You love me
Let's paint with our fingers, mingers, chlingers
And sing!
I love you


I'm so toasty I can hear my eyelids open and shut when I blink. Send help. Please. I swear, I did NOT read the fine print in my contract and I need to know if I will ever get a vacation and if it will be paid. If I have a nervous breakdown and need to be institutionalized - does the crazy monkey go with me? The whole 'satisfaction of a job well done' aspect is crap when you're exhausted. I wish I had a job with a desk so I'd have someplace to rest my head ...

Ooo, the 'I love you' refrain has tapered off. I better fall asleep fast so she can scream like a banshee in the middle of my REM and give me the jitters for the rest of the day and night .... tata!


Michael said...

That's a good song. REM should cover it.

Anonymous said...

i believe the fine print reads as such:

the bearer of the child will get a vacation, which will be UNpaid. the aforesaid vacation, while called a vacation, will be spent in one or all of the following ways: picking up after said child; calling to check on said child; talking about said child (read: to anyone who has hears, whether they remain interested or listening); deciding what souvenirs to buy and take home for said child.

eventually and ironically, the bearer of the child will end up pining for the 3AM nasal assaults and creative free-style approaches to the WORST. SONG. EVER*.

*okay, so that was personal opinion. you can substitute "purple dinosaur's signature melody" if you like. and on a side note, if i had a dollar for every time i had that blasted tune stuck in my head... my advice? find ways to defile the song, so you can at least have fun with it. but remember, do not sing the defiled song in front of baby girl. :c)

Valencia said...

news bulletin:

You get *me* for 7 days and even though it's *my* vacation..I'd be happy to sing bad Barney songs so you can sleep, nap, snore, and find that missing REM cycle. I cannot wait to see you..

nita said...

*mike: you're too funny

*hep: she's like a transcription machine. this morning she said 'i want to go downstairs and paint' and i said 'i want to shove you' and she said 'daaaadyyyyy! mommy wants to shove me!' tattletale

*pia: pia, pia, pia. i struggle between needing a nap and fearing the damage you could do during said nap ... can't wait to see you! baltimore at fenway :)

Galaxy Girl said...

The first time I ever saw Barney - I was surfing channels, and flipped through to see a large, purple blob in a white coat. He was addressing a couple of kids -

"Huh huh huh. Hey kids! Let's play doctor!"

Barney scares me. Love me or not.

piglet said...

i think barney could be damaging in that on the show, everything the kids make and do is perfect. my sister-n-law pointed this out to me and i began to steer my son away.

no use in him thinking he's gotta be a perfect (at the time) 4 year old. or any year old for that matter.