I'm so glad Blogger added a larger type option. Now I can see all the mistakes I make with crystal clarity!
I had a piano lesson on Saturday. It was so much better than great. We jammed a little, talked a little, and I learned a LOT. I've taken one or two lessons here and there trying to find the right fit. So far - no go. But this guy is a.ma.zing. I seriously can't wait for my next lesson!
So I come home from my lesson all jazzed. I'm dying to sit down at the piano and show Bear all I learned IN ONE SHORT HOUR! I walk in through the garage, through the library into the kitchen ... and I see Rio, still in her jammies which was no surprise, reading books on the couch. And then Bear comes skidding around the corner from upstairs. I can see right away that less than 2 minutes ago, he was sound asleep. He has mofo creases on his face.
me: Where you SLEEPING?
bear: Whaaaat? Sleeping?!
me: *bursts into tears*
Here's the thing. I don't get a lot of time to myself. I typically use the bathroom for each and every function with an audience and commentary. I no longer go to the gym (long story and I can't believe who DID and who did NOT get fired) and I don't really 'do' anything for myself these days. I snatch moments when she's sleeping, but that usually coincides with Bear coming home for lunch and the bottom line is, if I could hear myself think the strangeness of my voice might startle me.
And! When he's wrong, dead wrong, he gets an attitude that makes me want to go to the store, buy golf shoes and clubs, come back home, club him and then stomp him with the golf shoes. He's *that much* of a prick when he's wrong. George Bush has more sincere apologies than Bear ... okay? So, while the 42,000 ways my darling baby could have been killed or maimed were careening through my head, the guy I'm supposedly stuck with for this entire lifetime says, "What? She's fine by herself for a few minutes."
I sent him grocery shopping. I had a chance to cool down. We were able to really discuss it and he was just as angry as I was at himself. Or so he believes ...
Funnily enough, he spent all day today doing things I wanted him to do! Bookshelves were bolted to walls! Boxes were unpacked! Other boxes went into the basement! Tables were moved! Lamps rewired! I got a million sweet hugs today for no apparent reason.
Really, you'd think I had golf shoes around here somewhere ...