preschool jitters

We went to preschool orientation today. All 3 of us. I woke up late to Bear snugging me and telling me he had re-set the alarm for even later. I love waking in a panic.
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We were late. I argued with Bear because nothing spells relief like spreading your irrational fears to those you love best.
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It was really fine. Well, aside from the fact that I've slid into a bizarre alternative reality with the program director. My Mere scoped the joint last year, did the interviews, vetted the teachers, checked the bathrooms, and I followed blindly. Mostly because I hate crowds of little people, but I digress. Getting into the preschool program has been a comedy of errors. I have had 3 missed appointments with the director; she didn't mail me my packette for months; I sent my check a month ago and still the balance in my account taunts me and begs me to buy new boots, cuz, you know, the money's still in there and what are they going to do - make my kid wait outside if the check bounces?!; and last but not least ... thankfully Mere informed me that orientation time has moved to 9am from 9:45. The director helpfully called our house at 8:35 this morning, 20 minutes from school, to see if I knew of the change. And to accuse me of not filling out the paperwork she never sent. Breeeeeathe.
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I told Bear, after fighting with him all the way in and refusing to let him stop for coffee which just punishes both of us, "You do realize if this woman gives me one ounce of lip I'm going to tell her to fuck herself and then I'm going to cancel that check and put Rio in clown school, dontcha?" to which he replied, "Duh."
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One kid snatched a hammer out of Rio's hand. I did not snatch said child bald-headed but I did intervene with 'She was playing with that. Would you like this one?" and as the kid walked off I did not chuck anything at the back of her head. Too many parents around....
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Met one mom of a cute 'quiet boy.' He and Rio ended up at the playdough table together. Playing quietly. When Rio wandered off to the castle, cute quiet boy followed her with a handful of playdough. I love quiet boy.
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Miss Teach is lovely. Came over to talk about concerns. Noticed Rio's snack bag of green beans - which she loves and asks for.... We eat very well here. That said, when we're out and about, just about anything goes. Apparently Rio's going to be pretty tall and super smart and snarky as fuck so I don't want her to also be the kid who only eats weird stuff. I told Miss Teach, "I'm not concerned. Unless you're planning on serving deep fried twinkies with a vodka back, I'm sure the snack will be fine."

She just gave me a funny look.
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Rio didn't want to leave. She sang songs in the car - rapping mad freestyle. She was in a super mood. She asked to go back to school ... I'm sure she's going to be fine. Me? I'll be that mom that Security escorts to the edge of the property, and then has to pepper spray and then stun gun.
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Come Tuesday I'll be in a pool of my tears and guilt and angst and uncertainty, with cheap parking lot concrete pebbles stuck to my face, trying to hold my breath for all 150 minutes of pre-school. Looking forward to it.


1 comments:

Valencia said...

You did forget to mention that Rio will also be the best DRESSED preschooler :)

And I'll be sending UGG sizes your way for winter..
:)