nervous much?

Things that fell out of Bear's head this weekend:

"Listen, you signed up for forever so quit being such a fucking bitch."
-used to end an argument

"I can see it in your face, but nowhere else. Honestly though, I mostly only look at your face and tits."
-when asked if he noticed my weight loss

There were a few more doozers, but I didn't write them down and now they're lost in the cloud of advanced maternal age sans sleep.

Rio starts school tomorrow. I'm mostly okay, but pretty frantic. I am bringing a book, some cucumber slices and Jack. School is from 9:15 - 11:45 and I have it all planned out:

*9:10: drop-off. beat it out to the parking lot quickly. don't let her see me cry.

*9:15 - 11:00: sit in car in parking lot. cry. hard. stroke Jack while crying.

*11:00 - 11:30: try really hard to stop crying. place cucumber slices on my eyes so I don't look like I've been boxing while she's been playing and singing.

11:30 - 11:47: lose myself in my new book. look at clock and have panic attack at being 2 minutes late. jump out of the car, scramble into the school, and look like I've been boxing ...

No worries, then. I have it all under control! Wish me, and the local police, lots of luck.

10 comments:

Beth said...

Boys- geez!

Good luck... how absorbent is Jack? Just curious.

teahouse said...

Hey, good luck!!

And Bear sounds like my Fiance. Hahaha, they all think alike, don't they?

just me said...

good luck.

but steak works better for bloated eyes.


...especially if you like the feeling of raw steak on your face.



also: YOU ARE SO COOL FOR SENDING ME SOMETHING IN THE MAIL...YOU ARE COOL ANYWAY BUT SENDING ME SOMETHING IN THE MAIL IS EXTRA COOL...AS LONG AS IT IS NOT ANTHRAX

Piglet said...

i guess you can't accuse bear of any type of enabling tendencies :)

nita said...

actually, these are only funny because bear is so not *that way! in fact, he's arranged his schedule so he can go with us this morning to the first day of school ... awwwww!

Valencia said...

I love my big brother! For being able to say what I don't have the balls to! haha just kidding. I get close enough when I start arguing diets. :) Dr. Fuhrman.. the figure skater.. hahahahaa

karla said...

Is "stroke Jack" a euphemism? If so, that tops what Bear said.

aliastaken said...

When I lost my weight, it showed in my tits about the third month, so tell him to get ready.

(PS: My ex calling me a fucking bitch was one of the many reasons we didn't make it to 'forever')

nita said...

v: you have only taco bell to blame!

karla: you continue to rock, despite the fact that you have 47 children. yay you!

alias: first of all -blog! your comments are always so great! 2nd - if he were mildly serious, we never would have been ;)

hep-hop said...

see, there are times when the angry comes in quite handy. :c)

i'm trying to ignore it and hope it goes away.

hugs to you about school! i spent the whole first day of girl's school crying. but i did that for birthdays, too. and major milestones. and when her sensitive feelings were hurt... oh. yes. i'll stop now.