wrecked

Um, yah.

Preschool is going well. As long as she's away from me, she stops crying. Growth is happening all around.

Now, the dance class is another story. She won't get out of my lap. Ever. Once in a while for a quick second, but that's it. Her comfort level is non-existent. After almost a full year there.

Today we had the full meltdown. I told her she couldn't sit in my lap during class; she had to pay attention. So she proceeded to drape over my legs and try to crawl up on my shoulders and pulled at my shirt ... crying all the while. The teachers keep trying to talk to her.....she's having none of it.

I wish I had a mom to talk to. I don't. I talked to a few trusted friends and got all different, all very sensible recommendations. So, I called her pediatrician.

After listening he recommended another eval at Children's Hospital. Gave me the number. I'm at my wit's end and just so sad and frustrated. I know it's really bad for some people. I know other kids have it way worse. But I still feel like this is going to break my heart.

4 comments:

Beth said...

She loves you and needs to know you love her. At her age, the words "I love you" are just words. Hold her and be there for her. She will grow out of it in her own time, just as she'll read in her own time and understand algebra in her own time. It will happen.

Beth said...

Pardon the abruptness of that comment. It wasn't meant to sound like that. I was struck by the sudden need to write you an email and the comment suddenly dropped in priority.

Peace, lady. We all have good days and bad days (for some of us, that would be weeks.)

love.

Sarah said...

Lord knows I don't know much, and your pediatrician has info and perspective I can't claim, but, uh, WTF?

If I understand you correctly, your 3 year old is a non participant in dance class. (Did I read something in a previous post about her doing stuff around the edges of the class previously, but none of the group-y "following directions" kinda stuff?)

What do her pre-school teachers say? At our daughters' ages "normal" covers a huge spectrum. My Miss Moo has been in school for a month, and the kids are only just beginning to "connect" with one another. Non-conformity in a dance class by itself means jack shit, looking for pathology in that is a real dubious justification for advanced degrees. Period.

Look at the whole picture. Look at the range of other kids' behaviors. Look at how RIo is in a variety of settings. Offer supports to the behaviors that need encouraging-which may well include LEAVING the dance class, not because she "can't" do it, but because it may not be the best time for her to do it.

In my son's case, I always signed up for whatever classes to attend 2-3 times a week because he was slow to warm up. He needed lots and lots of exposure to get what some other kids could get in a single weekly session. Plus, of course, it gave me ways to spend my millions and fill my empty days. His needs weren't "special," He was, and is, someone who likes a real casual, slow, social, transition into activities. YMMV.

Cricket said...

Hi Nita,
We went through similar with Gymboree music class. He would not pay attention and if another child misbehaved, my generally well behaved child went right on that band wagon. I remember removing him from class many times, telling him that we would leave if he didn't behave and participate. He did not like the prospect of leaving, but there were rules for staying. It would work some of the time, but we did leave a few times, too.

Tell Rio that she must participate to stay. If she doesn't get off your lap, you'll leave. Be that tough. See what she decides. Does she like the class of your lap better?

Take care. We've all been there.