what a difference a day makes ...

I grew up in a way that makes me a master of crisis. I was a little, tiny fireman; on-call 24/7. That has left me with the propensity to, um, overreact. On occasion. Like around this whole eval thing.

Once I stopped spinning and spraying and exploring which special foams don't impact the environment ... I had the chance to listen. Really listen. From my 'I'm a smart person and nothing is on fire' place. And I realized I had shut down, gone to defc*n 8, and I had on my battle-scarred shield which has always helped me deal with all the noise. All the hysteria, real and manufactured. All the danger. That shield that filters out everything but the HUGE CRISIS
and makes me able to wade into the thick of things without concern for myself.

I went to the Developmental Medicine Department and read all about the possibilities. Then I lifted the shield, took a deeeep breath, and realized that none of those particular things on the drop-down menu apply. Sure, she has this piece and that piece ... she likes to line things up ... she doesn't particularly care for loud noises ... she just started pre-school that she attends alone (where she's doing great) ... she is used to me and I'm big fun and, for now, she is more at ease with adults. Big deal!

Her pieces of those sets of 'indicators' on the DMD site don't make for a full set of anything - except an awesome kid.

:: For all of you who gave your support loud enough to drown out the imagined sirens, I extend sincere thanks. You made a difference.


Valencia said...

what have I *always* told you? I experience pure love when it comes to your family. I am jealous of my little pumpkin niece because her life will never experience half the SHIT we went through because you're a wonderful mom and Brian is a super*dad. 'Nuff said. I knew you'd come around.

I think as a kid I liked adults better, too. They fed me, bathed me, snuggled me.. other kids just wanted to steal my fuckin toys!

Nancy said...

I'm late getting back around, too late to say what you already realized. It sucks that you didn't grow up with a good frame of reference for "normal" - but there's nothing you've ever written about your daughter that didn't sound well within the realm of normal to me. And I grew up classically normal. Like 1950s tv normal, minus the siblings. My child, age four, can't tolerate loud noises, like the volume of a movie theater, and he won't immerse himself in water - he's like a cat. He screams bloody murder when I try to ease him into the pool, even holding him in my arms. My best friend's two-year-old jumps off the diving board, happily assuming somebody will probably drag his ass back out until he learns to swim. I kind of wish mine were a bit more daring, but he is what he is and I adore him.

nita said...

thanks pia. you're part of our love-in so stop being jealous. put that energy into crunches ;)

nancy- LOVE the cat picture! hahahaha. our bf here is the same way. before rio could walk, baby K was merrily launching herself into the pool. this summer she launched off a boat into a maine lake! she rocks. i get that jealous twinge, too. so weird, this mom thing. thanks for playing along with me :)

CraftyMomOf2 said...

i love you, my friend. always and unconditionally. and i can't WAIT to start 'craft class' with Miss Monkey Princess!

Kenna said...

Nita - I don't have children so I don't know what you are going through, but I do know this: your love is all Rio needs. Just love her and everything will be okay.

just me said...

you're awesome, your kid is awesome.

I was a sensitive little thing growing up. So was my brother. He ran away from ANY costumed character and hated airplanes because they were too loud and 'hurt his ears'.

I just didn't sleep in my own room for most of my young life - because i was convinced there was a ghost / monster in there.

...long story short: sensitive kids turn into artists and stand-up comedians.


teahouse said...

I agree!! I was also a sensitive kid..look at me wrong and I'd start crying. Afraid to swim in the pool because I knew there was a shark. Lived everyday in knee-buckling fear that my 2-year-old sister would drop dead at any minute (I used to wake up in the middle of the night and check her breathing periodically - and I was 9 years old, for God's sake).