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I'm over the pity party. No one showed up. I really shouldn't start them so late...
So, for you today, a story. The best ever turn-down-Nita story.
***
I was living in Rotten-Groton and I was more than a little nuts. I had broken up with a guy who was purely evil to me. I didn't know, but while I was in a monogamous 2 year relationship, he was trying to screw his way into Guinness World Book. I'm a little slow like that... anyway, I met *him* in a round-about way. He was the son of the woman dating the father of the guy who poached me from my bartending job to work for the family company. How we doing so far?! Let's call him CS.
CS was not my type at all. He had red hair. He had a small human that he'd made. He lived an hour away. He was grumpy. He was still in love with his ex. The attraction, you ask? He had no interest whatsoever in me. None. So, in that temporary insanity phase of my life - it was love at first sight for me.
I pursued him mercilessly. I often dined at his mom's boyfriend's house and made doubly certain to be there when CS was visiting. I invited him places. I hosted BBQs whenever he was in town and bought insane amounts of prepared foods and booze in an effort to sway him with my fake cooking. I dressed up. I dressed down. I played with children before I knew that I could play with children ... I really tried.
We were sitting on my front porch, watching the boats go by, and I told him that there was not one single reason *I* could think of that I should NOT be his girlfriend. I liked that he lived far away. I wasn't needy. I was non-jealous to the point of oblivion and he could check with my ex on that fact! I had my own deal going. I had 3 other boys that I was dating so he didn't have to worry about me wanting to see him all the time. I lied and said I was not crazy. Still, he wasn't buying.
This is how he explained it. I shit you not.
me: Seriously. I'm a great girlfriend!
CS: Okay. Listen. This is how I see it. You're a John Deere tractor. Except - you're the total high-end model. You have the special sparkle paint job. You have every single attachment that John Deere makes. You have a leather cushioned adjustable seat. You have a sunshade.You even have chilled cup holders.
[pause]
But I live in Brooklyn. I don't got a lawn. See?
And at long last, I did.
***
Is it just me, or is that the greatest turndown eva?!
I have 3 friends in Massachusetts. I should try harder, but I find the days slip away in a whir of laundry, phonecalls, work, and just life. I may have to branch out.
My one friend's husband got a promotion. He can now work from anywhere on the east coast. They moved here when they were young and this is their first house ... they brought their babies home to this house. It was home. But they are alone here. All extended family lives in another state. And my friend and her husband miss their families.
So, they put the house on the market. I told her, "It's not like no one is ever going to buy a house again! Yours is in great shape, priced reasonably, and is highly desirable."
I usually don't mind that I'm always right.
Sold. In less than a week.
Joy.
I'm very happy for her but it makes me very aware of our situation. I'm estranged from my mother, but Vermont will always feel like home to me. Most of the people who are so important in my heart and life are there and there are many of them! I love 'going home' and Bear is always great about my frequent visits ... I just am feeling a bit conflicted.
My in-laws are awesome and they made CT so nice. Now they are an island of warmth, cupcakes, babies, and love there - and we're here.
We just got back from spending a week with my father's family in Wisconsin and Chicago area. That side is mostly Mexican and the family unit is huge. Rio had a sleepover with 3 cousins and she had the best time. I called my aunt to see how she was doing and my darling aunt said, and I quote, "Girl! She hasn't even asked for you! She's fine. See you tomorrow." That's how it rolls out there. Fluid. Family.
Conflicted.
I just feel like there are quite a few places that are welcoming havens for our little family ... and we're pretty far from all of them.
Having a child and not working is a very different life. I don't meet people all the time, and it's not like we go to happy hour or things like that. I've never been so isolated in my life and most days it's fine. Most days I am so wrapped up in school, shopping, cooking, gym, dog, life ... that I hardly notice the big space that used to be filled with so many friends. So much family. Yah, every once in a while I feel lonely and the phone just doesn't cut it. We can't really move until we do a ton of work on this house and we've decided to be here for at least a few more years. Then Rio'll be in school and so we have to try to plan life around a move and if/when/how that impacts her and even looking down the road is so freaking complicated.
How did we get here? Where are we going? Who is this new me?
*Over Stimulated
Life has been insanely busy of late. I feel like summer is coming and that's good. I've got Rio in a once a week dance class ... and that's it. We have a zillion little trips planned and I'm enjoying my new job and we have all been so tightly scheduled that I resisted the urge to sign her up for more stuff. I feel sorta guilty but as a mom I'm finding that it's pretty normal. If I'm going to second-guess myself, at least I'll have the proper amount of time to do so.
*Over Educated
My darling little sister took her last exam at 9:30 pm. While I've thoroughly enjoyed (drip sarcasm drip) learning all about the communication styles of different cultures and learning all about global warming and the shrinking polar ice caps thanks to my ridiculous offer to proof all paperrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs, I am ready to stop having homework. She got an 86 on her final exam, a 95 on her global warming paper. Sunday she'll be walking in a ceremony celebrating the fact that here, in the land of opportunity, you can spend tens of thousands of dollars, get a degree, and still be essentially clueless. I say that with tongue in cheek and the fond memory of when I was 23 and still knew everything. Congrats, V, no one is more thrilled than I that this chapter is complete. I'm proud of you darling girl.
*Over Scheduled
Work. Work. Housework. Work. V's work. Bear's work. School. Committee. Gym. Work. Dog. Laundry. Work. I need to get a handle on things. I haven't had enough me time lately. Or any, really. When we get back from Wisconsin I think I'll head to VT for a few days of R&R. I need to recharge the batteries and something tells me a week with my extended family in WI/IL isn't going to be too restorative. But it should be interesting...
last conversation with random family member:
me: [dials number my father called me from] Hey dad.
male voice: Dad? Who's this?
me: Your firstborn, dumbass.
mv: I don't have a girl ...
me: Oh, so sorry. I thought I was phoning my father. Is he available?
mv: You don't know who this is, do you?
me: Nope. Sorry.
mv: It's your cousin James*!
me: Oooh, hi James! Long time! How have you been?
mv: How have I been? What's the matter? No one told you I was doin' time?
Yup. Should be biiiiig fun.
*Overjoyed
Rio is just so much fun right now. I'll be better about posting for you, Peachy;) But today we took a nap together which is a singular joy. And she's in the habit of late of dressing up and asking me, "May I have this dance?" which about slays me and probably explains why I'm super good at 'Princess Ballerina Twirls' and super far behind in workworkwork!
*Over Served
Happy Birthday Meredith! We had a girl's night out with her friends who are all, without exception, smoking-hott-wicked-fun-charming-hilarious women. It was soooo fun! I got picked up by my other mom friend, C, who kept saying, "Have another! I'm driving!" and so I kept having another.
Today sucked donkey balls. I had a great plan to come home from dropping Rio at school and go back to bed but I had a 30 minute conference call for workworkwork that went until 3 minutes before school got out. I'm hurtin'. But! It was literally so much fun that I have a girly love buzz paving over my hangover.
Also, I found a pill in the bottom of an old purse and I took it and whatever it was really helped me feel better.
:)
My darling MIL retired. It ain't pretty. And! I was just getting ready to hang up my posting pen here at AMA, when I got an email demanding more reading material because she now has time to read.
I shall obey. And post more. But not today. I'm up to my eyeballs making sure my cherished sister graduates college everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
So, I leave you with a 'seriously' ...
IKEA* - seriously?
*thanks to Ian who could make a potty joke out of a Pope's speech.
