There are two reasons I know I'm one hundred years old.
I rode the carousel with Rio on Friday. Three times. She fears the horses (and I'm thrilled the up and down on a pole gives her cause for concern) so we rode the carriage. Three times. She totally could have gone allll day, but I got motion sick. In the carriage. I'm officially old.
Meals are drawn out ordeals with Miss Rio. That kid is the slowest eater everrrrr. After a prolonged lunch, we had ice cream cones. She had chocolate chip with chocolate sprinkles.
[one hour into eating the cone, a nice old man sits at the table next to us]
rio: 'Scuse me, (points with her pinky and one eye closed) what's your name?
old man: Roland!
[long story short. he tells her a story about his grandson, she laps the cone and half ignores him. he continues with stories about kids and his kids when they were young, and he ends up telling a tale that cracks him up. he laughs and exposes a mouth of, um, not a shining example of oral health. one in the front is missing, and the rest are summer teeth; some are pointing this way, some are pointing that. all are the bright yellow of a summer sun.]
rio: 'Scuuuuuse me, Roland. Why do you have cavities?
me: sotto voce Hey buddy. Don't ask that again and we'll talk about it in the car. Okay? Please don't say 'cavities' again, okay?
rio: 'Scuuuuse me, Roland. Do you brush your teef? Do you ffffffffffffffffoss?*
*As she struggles with certain complicated sequences, she sometimes draws out the stumbling block. So 'floss' becomes 'fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffoss', which gives me an extra 4 seconds or so to die a thousand deaths. But that's okay, because, you see, Roland wasn't really paying attention to Rio and her 'fl' struggles...
roland: Oh, hohoho, she's so adorable.
me: thanking the deaf gods Oh, she's something.
roland: You're not so bad yourself, you know. In fact, you're a real looker. You know what that is?
me: Oh, heh. Yes, I'm familiar with the concept.
roland: soldiering on in his deafness A looker means when you walk past men, they look at you.
me: Have a nice day, Summer. C'mon Rio, you can finish that in the car.
Motion sick on a carousel and hit on by a deaf bum. What a day.