elephants in the living room

I don't have the time or energy to get into the big stuff so I'll just hint about it and then get back to it later this week.

*Alex. Whew, twelve years gone now. I was okaaaay this year. Rio helps.

*Bear was sick for 4 days. Didn't move sick. Slept all day and night sick. I thought just a little bit about when we're old, you know, in the next 5 years, and I thought again about how I always wanted to be just me. Not care so much about another person.

*Jack got shut in the laundry room by mistake while we were gone. He clawed almost all the way through the sill around the door. Was inconsolable when we got home from vacation even though the sitter really is nice, if not hyper-vigilant.... I've carried him more than Rio this week. He likes it.

*I couldn't tell you where in the HELL my baby brother has been for the last 2 months.

*Mom gave me and Rio a bunch of jewelry. She says it's so no one else gets it when she dies. I know she's never going to die.

*My friend Suzy's ex-husband, who is also my college roommate's brother, who is also the son of one of my favorite person's best friends, who always served me when I was 16, who also painted really cool fish sculpture thingies...died last week. Lymphoma. I can't tell Suzy.

*My first love is getting married, again, and we're going, for the first time, and I don't know WHAT to wear. Damned skippy my tiara will be involved in the final outfit...

*And I guess the big thing that I really don't want to talk about (and not just a little cuz I now think of the lurkers enjoying my discomfort so I don't want to really talk about it til I move, which is taking a while cuz Mark was sick and now is busy and I was busy and now, well, still busy....) where the hell was I??!! Oh! I don't want to talk about the fact that Rio has her 6 month evaluation with the Early Intervention people tomorrow. She's walking around like it's no big thing, she's talking more, she points at planes and makes monkey, dog and cat noises....SO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BUNCH OF PROFESSIONALS IN MY HOUSE TELLING ME WHAT'S FUCKING WRONG.

Yeah, so, I feel like I'm in the middle of a suck-fest but I'm sure it'll pass. Soon. Fuck.