can you hear me now?

When last I spoke to my "mother" I quite clearly told her that I would only speak to her in a therapeutic environment. Dueling shrinks. Witnesses. Security. I was crystal clear.

That was May 9th.

Since that time my baby sister graduated college. My father was murdered. My darling girl turned 4 a week after my darling husband turned 41. My life is moving too fast most days, and other days I just plain sleep through. But for my loved ones I push and push and push and hope to gain forward ground. I'm trying.

She called 2 days ago. No apology. Nothing reasonable even, although the unreasonable is always expected. She left a message saying she wished to see Rio and Bear. Call her back. This is her number.

Not a call from a therapeutic environment so, I did not return the call, as commanded.

Yesterday's message. "I'll be heading down your way on Friday and I would like to be allowed to see Rio. Call me."

She doesn't know my father was killed or she'd call and say something completely fucked up. I can't see her in a weakened state. I don't want to anyway. But does anyone want to guess who can't sleep?

Bear offered to call her. Tell her no. Tell her she's not welcomed. Tell her she's breaking the rules. Tell her she can not make me leave my house. My house.

She knits cashmere sweaters for her dog. She writes letter after letter; to the editor, the governor, old boyfriends. She has never given Rio a single gift. She has never sent one card. Not one 'Happy Birthday' card. Not one 'Happy Holidays' card. Not one. Ever.

She didn't keep us safe in her house and now she's planning to bring it here? I don't think so. I am on edge and waiting til Friday, Saturday, Sunday pass safely.

Watch the papers. This could go terribly wrong. Or maybe just right.

14 comments:

the slackmistress said...

Take care, you.

xo.

tj said...

You are welcome to come to the lake to escape your mother's visit. Just drive north, enjoy the foliage, and forget that she even called. There is something about being surrounded by water and mountains; nature at its best will help you cope with this whole situation. Trace

Belinda said...

I'm with Trace. Although, I understand if that would count as "making you leave your home," because, of course, you should not be pressured to flee your own safe haven.

Thinking of you.

Alice said...

oh, my. i do not like this one bit. be safe, keep her away, and we'll keep an eye on the papers :-)

Diana said...

I can go get you, so it could be like we had plans...
but today is already Saturday and you could be in custody as I write...or she could be on a missing persons list...
hmmm.... either way I hop this weekend passes smoothly.
hugs.

Kelly said...

Best wishes for a "just right" outcome.

karla said...

Do not let that nut in your house. I don't know how to tell you to make that happen (um, not happen), but please, somehow don't let that nut in your house.

whoissecretdubai said...

a humble request...(for anyone not allowing this post through--not spam--)

Anyone happen to know who Secret Dubai (the blogger: secretdubai.blogspot.com) is?

http://whoissecretdubai.blogspot.com/

aliastaken said...

I thought of you on Christmas when my mother, who I have spoken to once in five years called. I erased her message without listening to it and felt perfectly fine about it.

nita said...

alias! i wish you'd email me so i have your address. i think of you, too! mine sent red roses with lilies. not the lilies i like, mind you. at least she didn't have the address right - the neighbors brought them over. yeeeeeesh.

aliastaken said...

I will email you now. There are very few people who understand how I could be so 'cold', but trust me, it was the right thing to do.

aliastaken said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Susan said...

Hey, I have been reading your posts for eons, through your many different blogs. I don't comment much, but I have been checking and checking back for you and am a bit worried you haven't posted recently. :( I do hope you are okay. I figure you either got a new blog I don't know about or you have taken a break from blogging. At any rate, my thoughts are with you, Bear, and Rio. Take care!

nita said...

hi susan. i'm trying to put something together. shoot me an email ms . nita @ gmail