i'm shallow

I told myself she needed a little break.

I told myself her head is looking amazing these days.

I told myself she's been sleeping on her left side of her head in the car and maybe it would be good for it to be just flat against her carseat.

I told myself that no hats would fit, even though it was warm enough today to go from the car to the building without one; which is what we did.

I told myself if I put the reindeer horns on her she'd need the hat so they didn't scratch her head AND that they would slip off the plastic.

I told myself that Bear is trying to get established in the pecking order at his new company and maybe Rio's 'condition' would become something that people whisper about.

I told myself that these were the reasons I left her helmet at home to go to Bear's work party.

I told myself it's not because I'm embarrassed. So why do I feel so ashamed of myself today?