Today Bear said that he sent me a copy of his resignation letter to proofread. I was in the car running a zillion errands so I said I'd have to get to it later. We had talked about him offering to continue in a consultancy fashion because he's the only one who understands their patent portfolio. So, we got home from a busy day and I've been cooking and making food and cleaning and just got a chance to check my email for his notes. He sent me a house that costs over 500,000 that I would love to live in but we can't possibly afford it. He also sent me this ( with names being changed to protect the dickheads and whatnot) :
November 2, 2004
Mr X1, Chairman
Mr X2, President
SecurityIzUs, Inc.
New York, NY
Dear Fric and Frac:
It is with regret that I inform you that I will be leaving SIU. I have accepted a position as a jungle guide for Jungle Tours, Inc., located on the west bank of the !Goorinnabway River in Zaire. My last day here will be November 12th, as I need to undergo a serious of innoculations and cavity searches at the Zaire Health Ministry prior to my trans-Atlantic journey. Fortunately, my rectum is quite relaxed due to the furious ass fucking I got here at SUI- there should be no problem getting the ol' sphincter-scope right up there, you know, to check for communicable diseases and such.
It has been a pleasure working with both of you and the rest of the SUI team. I have learned a lot. The biggest lesson I umm, learned is, umm, uhh, umm, that whenever someone says that they'll, umm, uhh, get me where I need to be, uh, uhh, ummm, they're full of shit! X2,you are a fucking lying piece of shit, prissy, wannabe elite executive, douche bag, ass licking loser. Riiiiggghhhttt. Grrreeaattt.... You suck! X1, ummmmmm, do you know that your mind is halfway down the toilet? Do you know that I have a file of things I've done for you so when you ask me to do it again a month or two later and again and again and again, all I do is go into the file, change the date, and give it to you as if I just did it? And then I go back to writing my fuckin' rap lyrics, yo? Whatthafuk? Go find a nice park bench to sit on so you can tell the pigeons how it was done in 1953. I'm sure they'll find it fascinating... so get your huge, fat ass into your horseless carriage and get the fuck outta here. You suck, too!
Sincerely,
BeaR
The CEO says 'greaaaaaat' all the time and once, at a conference, Bear counted how many times he said 'ummm' to keep himself awake during his presentation. I laughed until I wheezed when I read this. I don't know if you'll find it so amusing but I sure hope so!
He's accepting a new job tomorrow and quitting the one that he doesn't so much like tomorrow as well. Good times.
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