I can't believe I'm going to tell you about this

But I obviously have boundary issues anyway...

We might have to sell our house. Our house that finally has been completely painted in fun and vibrant colors. Our house that finally has the furniture in the right rooms and most of the window treatments up and gorgeous. Our house where I'm trying to raise a baby and train some dogs and keep a husband happy. Mixed emotions about the move but it does seem inevitable these days...

So..my MIL is in real estate. She is, as I have mentioned before, fabulous beyond compare. She came over on Saturday to do a walk through to let us know what things we love that are too bizarre for the average home-buyer and what needs to be addressed structurally. Blahblahblah. So, I came outside with her and Bear to discuss the outside things about the house. We were walking behind the house toward the porch (that needs to be scraped, painted and adorned with new screens) when she stepped in the drainage dip for the deck. Well, she went down, albeit gracefully. When I turned around she was kind of rocking onto her side. I have the really bad habit of laughing hysterically when people fall so I was shocked but the laugh was already bubbling up when I ran to her side.

"Oh my God!" I shouted, forgetting that I don't say 'God' anymore. "Are you okay?"

And when I said 'Okay', I shot the mouthfull of cold pizza onto the top of her head. That made the 'fall' laugh really explode compounded by the 'I just spit pizza into my Mother-in-law's hair' laugh and, well, I kinda started to pee my trackpants a little. That caused a 'I can't fucking believe I'm wetting my pants' laugh which just turned a little wetting into a downpour, right into my socks. So I went running for the backdoor, knees together, pizza all over my face, screaming and laughing as I whipped my pants off completely forgetting I had no panties on but, really, at that point that was a minor transgression, and ran bare-assed into the house.

Keigel, shmeigal, I'm looking into surgery cuz that is just fucking retarded.